bio and ss are finally over.. finally. and there's only e math left.. really.. i think the whole prelim thing is getting to me. and today during chapel was just the saddest thing.. i just remembered all the things that's happened the past week, all the hurt i've caused, all the hurt i've felt. sometimes you dont want to do it, you just want to get your point across, you lose control and just.. sin. then we sang here i am to worship, dunno why that song has some kind of significant meaning to me.. some how i just felt that god just told me how much i need to come back before him again.. just to worship him, and keep my focus on him and not anything else.. but its just been so hard, all the temptations that ease me into sin, i dunno. life just seems.. so difficult all over again..
today the pastor talked about being changed, and having a transformation in christ.. it made me think how much i've grown over the past few years, even though it may not exactly be in a good way, just maybe maturing physically and mentally, but i wonder if i mature spiritually. i guess things like these take time, but how much time do i have left i wonder. i wonder if i actually try. actually put in an effort to spend time alone with him, just talking and spending time reflecting on my spiritual needs. sometimes i wonder if it is all just external, if it is ever internal. the list just goes on..
its just 4 weeks more till prelims. ms ho reminded us during the practice paper today. its time to start planning and balancing my studies and sleep and activities. i've decided to limit activites to just one night a week, and then every day else would be studying and preparation. piano ties in too, but i really hate playing it. :
i want to go for sonicfest!!! i want to go for the hillsong and delirious concert!! i want to go for lovemg!!! i want to just go and worship and give thanks and forget temporarily about the exams. god's my focus. through him all things are possible. yupp. i need the faith.
a shout of praise.
8:57 PM
